July 11, 2017

Yes, I know! I’m writing about dating AGAIN, and you are probably sick of hearing about it by now because you're either A.) Single and enduring this nightmare yourself or B.) In a relationship and/or married and unable to comprehend the struggle that the rest of us single people face with finding our soulmate.  But I just couldn’t help myself.  You see, for reasons that make me look like a total creeper, I recently went though all of my old messages in my OkCupid inbox, and first let me say that there are a lot of freakshows living in this city, as I’m sure you are all aware of by now.  Second...

June 7, 2017

Howdy Tiny Ass Fans! It is 2 in the freaking morning on a Tuesday and I am sitting alone in my living room, with a glass of wine, my dog and leftover pasta. Why am I up you might ask? Because a) It’s my turn to blog this week and up until 20 min ago, I thought I had nothing to write about, but then I remembered that, b) I am an expert procrastinator and c) because I just watched Wonder Woman, d) I have decided that I want to tell you all about the many wonders of being a woman. Although I am slightly underwhelmed by the movie, it did remind me of one thing: being a woman is awesome, and it als...

May 2, 2017

Most days I’m happy, but some days I need to turn on TLC and watch a lady eat laundry detergent to feel better about myself. And that’s exactly what I had to do to distract myself this weekend after my love curse struck again!!

You may recall from my previous blog post “The Art Of Seduction” that my love life has been a total shit-show spanning all the way back to when my very first date stood me up at the prom because he didn’t have “pants.”  After countless torturous relationships and a dating experiment where I went on one horrible blind date a week for an entire year, I learned that I was c...

February 28, 2017

Alright team hunker down cause this is going to be a long one.  As previously stated in our first blog post, Fernanda is the married mess and I am the single mess. But let’s get real, “mess” is putting it lightly.  I’m totally fucked in the dating department, and have been since the time my first prom date stood me up at the age of 15 because “he didn’t have pants.”  I mean, who wouldn’t want to go out with this hottie? Am I right?!  Ha ha!

Now, I know that everyone thinks they have the craziest dating stories, but I can assure you that I am actually THE QUEEN of online...

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August 22, 2017

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Macee (left), Fern (right)


Two bitches in Los Angeles. Macee (left), Fernanda (right)


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